It is interesting that the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to list patience as the first attribute of love. I believe patience is the cornerstone of all the other characteristics of love and what makes it possible to demonstrate the other qualities of love.
Love is patient. That means that when others bring pain and suffering into our lives by their words or actions, we bear it calmly, without complaint. It also means that we show forbearance when provoked or aggravated. This kind of love remains steadfast despite opposition, hostility or adversity. Dictionary.com defines patience as “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.”
The Greek word used here for patience is makrothumia which means long (macro) temper (thumia). In other words, it means to moderate or mitigate; to exercise control over, or govern restraint for long periods of time. It makes sense that it is usually translated as “long suffering” in the New Testament.
W. E. Vine in his Comprehensive Dictionary of the Original Greek Words with the Precise Meanings for English Readers defines the verb makrothemeo in this way: Longsuffering is that quality of self-restraint in the face of provocation which does not hastily retaliate or promptly punish; it is the opposite of anger and is associated with mercy. Patience is the quality that does not surrender to circumstances or succumb under trial; it is the opposite of despondency and is associated with hope. *
In this country, suffering is not the norm like it is in many third world nations. In those countries, many suffer poverty, hunger, easily-cured sickness, hardships, and even mistreatment by their own government. There, people live with suffering as a way of life. Here, we treat suffering as something to be avoided at ALL costs. Those costs may include: selfishness, greed, dishonestly, and even taking what belongs to another. Often instead of enduring suffering with the proper attitude, we withdraw from the person we should patiently love. We file for divorce or become estranged from our children, parents, or friends just because we do not want to suffer in any way; even if that just means having to admit where we are wrong. Protecting our pride often becomes more important than showing love.
Over the years I have seen some excellent examples of even tempered, long suffering patient love. The first was my parents who gave up many of the nicer things in life so that their children could all be well taken care of and receive a college education.
Another example that comes to my mind is my neighbor whose wife has severe dementia. He grieves the loss of the life they once had together; raising children, sharing dreams, and working on projects. He misses the conversation, intimacy and fellowship they once shared.
Now, it’s a daily struggle just to take care of everything by himself plus bath and feed his wife who barely recognizes him; much less appreciates his sacrifice. Still, he never complains as he faithfully meets her needs while his go unmet.
Lastly, there is my wife who has remained by my side through years of financial and emotional difficulty with my bouts of depression and self-hatred. Instead of looking for greener grass on the other side of the fence she has patiently worked with me to make the grass greener right where we are.
Love is long suffering. A person full of agape love is willing to suffer for extended periods of time for the good of others. The ultimate expression of this attribute is Christ’s death on the cross. “For the joy set before Him, he endured the cross, despising the shame…”
I would love to hear about your struggles, successes, and examples of love that is long suffering and patient. Please forward this email to others who might be helped by this topic.
